You ever feel so happy you want to kill yourself.  The world is so bright you revel in your darkness like a soft kiss of company.  The joy the twisted devil inside brings is to much to bear and one cannot fully contain or express the fondness of its touch.  Every word people speak is a lie, nothing more than a social status quo.  You search the world to it's end looking for its expression and mating half to find nothing but more yearning for what isn't obtainable.

I see you hiding deep in my soul, I feel you touching me when I'm not looking, caressing my cheek.  Turning to look I see your edges but never the whole.  I lurk the pages of the internet, the deepest recesses of books, the looks in peoples eyes, but never....can I get through your lies to see your truest form.  It's a slow kind of maddening that keeps me pushing forward.  My other half is hiding from me but yet cradles me in my greatest fear and abyss, as well as my greatest accomplishments.  The light comes and warms my face and my heart, yet I always feel you hiding behind me in the never leave me.  The sun wanes and leaves and there you are arms, outstretched to make me twitch and delve into myself.

A craving.  That is the word...a deep craving that makes my very heart and soul hurt.  To fully embrace your love I don't think I can exist here.  There is a space where for a momentary glimpse I will have your entirety to myself....only a moment though.  Show your face, show me your soul, give me all of you.

Blood trickling down is a soft comfort of your touch.  Come to me when I lay alone in the dark, when the music threads through my ears and beats with my heart.  Whispers of sweet nothings and promises of despair unending, only the most grim of shows.  Let me watch, let me join you in your dance of poltergeists.  Wishing I could move in tandem with each soft touch and sway, always just an audience member.  Don't make me beg, don't make me cry, don't make me die more and more inside.

The cost is one soul, it cries...but a pure light one will never do.  A practice of struggle, despair and cold hearts accosting the soul will do.  Give some hope, then bring the bleak breaking wave of sorrow with clouds to cover it all.  Soon...soon I may be complete, the darkness fully loving me.  Heavy, so heavy yet so comforting like a mothers arms wrapped around a small child.

Stop playing in my head, leave my being, your promises and gifts always out of reach have turned my heart to ash....ash yes thats appropriate.  Flowing through my veins feeding me to myself, do I not fully give into it?  Should I?  Consume myself and die within to sprout new corpses for your pleasure.  The longer I live the longer I yearn to feel the pain, my one desire, my only wish is to be consumed.

Hello tomorrow, bring me your joys.  Crush me with your light and woes, care not I will for your despair as it feeds my demon whom I play with in it's lair.

Come demon, let us play, I miss you more each day.